Miriada

I have been a mess for about a week now, partly just in anxiety about learning to drive and my driving lessons.

After the first few lessons I was having lots of trouble with the clutch and I was really worried about it (I still think it's unnecessarily complicated for regular cars, but... I've mostly got it now). And I can't just add extra easy repetitions to build more motor memory and make it automatic because I can't drive outside the driving school until I have my license. I had to add an extra three lessons (to the original 6) because I just didn't have it yet. I have had one of those now, and the teacher and I agreed I will probably be ready to take the driving test after just a little more practice. So we booked the driving test in two weeks, and my last two driving lessons the day of and the day before. Hopefully that will be enough! Failing is to be avoided: it costs 99 euros to take the test, but if you fail it, the second time costs like three hundred.

I had lessons three days in a row this week, and I absolutely should not drive without taking methylphenidate: taking adhd medication significantly reduces driving accidents for adhd sufferers. But while it makes it easier to concentrate, it also speeds up my heart and... kind of makes me hyperfocus and be in a hurry? Generally, it makes anxiety worse. I have real trouble slowing down and relaxing to the appropriate level for driving, but I can't take a tranquilizer for the anxiety so I just have to try to breathe deeply and stuff. Probably walking a couple miles or something first would be better, if I were in shape, and if I would be able to shower and go to the lesson right away (but it takes 50 minutes on the bus to get there).

I also contacted the licensed Bernina repair shop about the sewing machine that won't go, and he said he has a huge backlog right now and to try again in October-November. I delayed contacting him for a year and a half after the problem appeared, so this is comparatively minor and I can't be mad, but of course now I want it urgently because both pairs of my flannel pajama pants are falling beyond the reach of patching and mending.

One of the triplets finally told us what she wanted in a sweater and we ordered the yarn, but the other two are silent and our attempts to get them to give us their measurements have also failed. I suppose we'll have to propose a date when we will show up and ask if they can hand us their favorite sweatshirts to be measured then or not.